Friday, August 10, 2012

My Own Little World

My Own Little World - Matthew West

Source: http://www.cassindia.org/
In my own little world it hardly ever rains
I've never gone hungry, always felt safe.
I've got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet.
In my own little world,
Population--me.



                            I try to stay awake during morning church
I throw a twenty on the plate, but I never give till it hurts.
I turn off the news when I don't like what I see
Yeah, it's easy to do when it's population -- me

Source: http://www.cassindia.org/


What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose?
I could be living right now
Outside my own little world






Often-times I feel like I live in my own little world. Don't get me wrong, I do love to help others in any way that I can. However, I do so only when I find it most convenient for my schedule, and thus, I continue along within my little bubble. Even after spending one month in Kerala this summer, I quickly returned to the routine of my day-to-day life.

My trip to India was completely unexpected. Ever since freshman year, I had considered the summer after junior year a very important time that could make or break me. It was my one chance of securing a full-time position in the business field after graduation. However, when presented with the option of traveling to India instead, my choice was obvious... ;)

This trip was unlike any other I had had in the past, because after spending two weeks in Kerala with my parents, they returned home, leaving me behind, to spend two weeks there on my own.

So after they left, I literally planned the remainder of my trip one phone call at a time. I found myself in a lot of expected places....

participating in a week-long MGOCSM leadership camp (COLT)...
 









hiking up a mountain in search of the footprints of St. Thomas....



.....spending time with some dear friends 

.....and finally spending a night with two sisters who work with families affected by HIV/AIDS.


Sr. Carmel's beautiful depiction of an African Mother Mary & baby Jesus. She spent several years of her life doing missionary work throughout Africa.


Far left: Sr. Dolores & far right: Sr. Carmel




Sr. Dolores' glowing smile and myself, working the frizzy hair look.
This last adventure of mine was the one that placed a lasting imprint on my heart, because there, I met a remarkable woman named Sister Dolores. Sister Dolores is one of the most inspirational individuals I have ever encountered, I would go as far as to call her a "living saint." And though I know it's not appropriate for me to make such a declaration, I don't think there is a better way to describe her. She has dedicated much of her waking life to the service of others, something I can't even imagine. 




 Fourteen years ago, when she had already reached an age at which most Americans have retired, Sr. Dolores paired up with a group of women in order to start CASS, the Cancer and Aids Shelter Society. In a state where those affected by HIV/AIDS often find themselves isolated and ignored, these women fearlessly work on their behalf. 





A group of women who truly understand what Christ meant when he told his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few." (Matthew 9:37) 




Serving nearly 100 families, they provide home nursing and medical care, organize regular family visits both to homes and to hospitals throughout Kerala, provide shelter to those in need, spread awareness about HIV/AIDS to the general public, and empower women through teaching them different job skills such as candle and soap making.  
 
I was lucky to visit the CASS house ( a beautiful, three-floor house used for different gatherings and fund-raising activities) on the day of  their monthly get-together, which happens on the second Monday of each month. On this day, all of the families meet together for a meal as they share in one another's struggles and joys. Although I arrived late to this gathering, I was blessed to meet a few of these families before they returned to their homes. Sadly, in my excitement and my spurs of broken Malayalam, it did not cross my mind to take pictures of some of the beautiful ladies I met (many of their husbands, sadly, had already died from HIV/AIDS). 

I was really touched by the excitement on the faces of these women at the opportunity to share there stories with someone new. As I began by talking with one woman, a few more drew closer to listen in, asking  one another if I understood Malayalam. The woman I was talking with joyfully replied, "Well she can't speak well, but she laughs a lot and she understands everything!" Another woman said, "Wow, we will never forget your big smile." (These are just translations, as they were speaking in Malayalam).

Meeting these women was an extremely humbling experience. Looking back, I feel a bit ashamed knowing what a five minute conversation that I have so quickly forgotten must have meant to these women. Just to see a bright, smiling face, eager to speak with them and eager to hear what they had to say. I think sometimes we all have to remind ourselves not to underestimate what a simple smile could mean to another person.


A few of the families, during the early years of CASS (Source: http://www.cassindia.org)
And now, here I am, sitting in my house struggling to explain the experiences I had. I can only pray that my story is enough to touch another's heart, because I have a humble request. I ask for you to help support these families. Even if you're just a broke college student like me with little to give, just bless them with your prayers. Although they are blessed to receive the medication they need from the Indian  government (which they will have to take for the rest of their lives--their is no cure) many suffer daily with the side effects of these medications. And if dealing with their disease wasn't hard enough, the struggle to provide for their children is even harder. Although Sister Dolores and the CASS Team do everything they can to help, they now face a new challenge. When they began serving these families, most of the children were young. Now, more than a decade later, many of these children have reached college-age, but don't have the money to pursue an education. It's extremely unfortunate, since many of them have gained acceptance to study in challenging fields such as medicine, engineering, and business.


Maybe you are thinking -- there are many rich people in Kerala, why aren't they helping to support this organization? How can we, as Americans, assist an organization that is half a world away? Even today, there is a stigma that exists amongst Indians in regards to individuals suffering from HIV/AIDS. Many lack understanding on how it is transmitted, or blame women as the cause of transmission, and thus have no interest in supporting the cause. 

That is why we, us spoiled Americans with our laptops and I-Phones and desperate need for wi-fi even in the most remote places, can make a huge difference by giving up one Starbucks run each week and putting it towards a worthy cause. So now you're thinking -- what the heck Sonia?! I don't have an I-Phone, I have an Android phone, I only buy coffee from Dunkin' Donuts, and I have survived without wi-fi before! Yes, yes, I understand. But all the more reason for us to look outside our little bubbles, and see the world of need that surrounds us.

Let me emphasize that I am NOT someone who is comfortable asking anyone for money, no matter how worthy the cause. On the contrary, I was the shy Girl Scout who stressed out about how she was going to sell enough cookies to support her troop. (I am not joking. I was a proud Girl Scout for 7 years.) Anyways, my point is, I am not asking you to give up coffee for the rest of your life in order to support these families. Of the many things I learned after staying with Sister Dolores, I learned that God WILL provide, even when our feeble human minds convince us that all hope is lost.

If you do feel the desire to help support these families, please, let me know. Sister Dolores has been exploring all options to raise money for these families. One of them, was traveling to small villages throughout Kerala and buying handmade jewelry from them, made from the resources of the land. Another, was to design beautiful greeting cards with hand-painted pictures of the CASS house and other designs. All of these things, she has asked for me to sell on her behalf. I plan to post pictures of the items as soon as I can, along with the different prices. Nothing costs more than a few dollars, and every little bit counts. If you are interested in buying something, please let me know. And if not, please, just keep praying, because with God, NOTHING is impossible. (Luke 1:37).

be blessed & be a blessing,
sonia







Monday, March 19, 2012

Blessings in Disguise


I'm so grateful that my spring break is during the Great Lent so that I've had time to evaluate how the past few weeks have gone and what I hope to do for the final weeks.

I've heard a few times this week that if Lent isn't hard, then you're doing something wrong. So for all of you that are practicing Lent, I encourage you to ask yourself, has this Lent been spiritually challenging, or has it been easy?

And if it has been easy, that doesn't mean - Okay, so giving up _____ is too easy, so I need to give up ________ as well. No matter what we give up, it doesn't mean anything unless we're taking on more time spent with God-- through prayer, Scripture, church services, etc.

And if you're like me, you're probably wondering, what is the point of all this? Why can't I just enjoy living in this world and enjoy what's in front of me instead of having to worry if there's chicken in my ramen noodles or whether I should eat cake on my friend's birthday when I gave up sweets?

Why? Because Christ tells us:

 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal." (Matthew 6:19-20)

laying up for myself treasures on earth... who doesn't love cookie cake?
Our music collection, our good grades, our birthday cakes.... even the relationships we've built on this earth.... they are all temporary. We should not let the things of this world dictate our joy, because while earthly joy is fleeting, the love of Christ is everlasting. Knowing that, why is it so hard to give up more of our time to Him?

And while that doesn't mean we should not enjoy the earthly gifts that God has granted us, Lent is a good reminder that although those things are wonderful, our citizenship is in heaven, and our time here on earth is temporary. 

  "...Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." (Philippians 3: 18-21)

Our citizenship is heaven. What a thought. Like God has already set a place for us there. How incredible.... and how easy to forget when we are caught up in the ways of the world. I know for me personally, I have been so stressed over school, what I'll be doing after graduation, and how I will handle being in the "real world," that I've forgotten what I am living for, or, in other words, who I am living for. And the more I can be reminded of that, especially by the loved ones God has blessed me with, the more everything that causes me stress doesn't seem so bad.

And as a way to refocus that stress and to trust that God will provide for me, I took a friend's suggestion and  made a list of how He has been faithful. I realized that there was so much more than I acknowledge, and I plan to print out the list as a constant reminder of his faithfulness. And while I'm not going to include the list here, I thought I would mention a few things.

- A difficult first year of college.... that built my character and gave me a softer, more Christ-like heart.

- Broken friendships that were completely restored, when both sides were completely convinced that restoration was impossible.

- A potential disaster with "random" roommates this semester, turned out to be the greatest blessing.

- Two months of struggling spiritually in Ecuador, wishing I had my church community back home, and God provided a church community for me there, something I would have never imagined happening, along with some incredible sisters that really helped me to grow.

These are just a few, but I think the most important thing I realized is how situations that were so difficult and painful at the time turned out to be blessings in disguise. We never really know how God can use a terrible situation in our life to help us to grow. That's something that is hard to realize at the time, which is why I think it's so important to remind ourselves of when He has been faithful.


And to end.... a really great (and short!) video on Lent that Joe Uncle had posted on his Facebook, which I found extremely helpful:






all the best, my dear reader. wishing you a blessed week.

sonia

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Always Love



My friend Daniela's dog Mona. She wants to be your Valentine! :)
Will you be my Valentine? 

I have never been a fan of Valentine's Day. I have always written it off as a meaningless “Hallmark” holiday full of candy and flowers. It simply doesn't make sense to me, if you truly want to express your love for someone, why do you need to wait for this particular day to do it? Suddenly on this day, every couple seems so "in love" and for a day, everything is perfect. But in my eyes, it seems so temporary.

This year however, was different from other years. I learned through my friends that Valentine's Day can be a day for more than just couples, but a day in which friends and family can share in their love for one another. And, sure enough, that is not too far from what the Feast of St. Valentine is really all about.


This past Tuesday, I received an email from my school's OCF which included a homily explaining the true meaning of Valentine's Day. St. Valentine was a priest in ancient Rome who rebelled against the laws of the Roman Empire by providing sacraments, such as marriage, to Christians. He was imprisoned for his actions and eventually beheaded.

I am completely blown away that a man could have such fearlessness and faith in God that even death could not stop him from proclaiming the truth. He had a love for God and a love for humanity that allowed him to live his life the way he did. 



"For the world, love can mean a lot of different things. It can refer to the deep communion experienced by a couple who have been married 50 years. Or "love" may simply refer to sex. More often than not it refers to romantic love, the feeling between a man and a woman. Too often it is nothing more than an over glorified puppy love. … When the world says, "I am in Love," they mean your knees are weak and your throat is dry and you are attracted to someone. … This "love" is often devoid of commitment and depth. … "Love" by the world's definition can be as flimsy and insubstantial as a cheap Valentine's Card.
But the Church's definition of love is quite different. For the Christian the ultimate example of that love is Jesus Christ. He is the living example of God's love. He came to this world so that the lost and lonely people of the world could experience the Kingdom of God."

I feel so blessed to know that the love of our is God is greater than any human could ever give or receive. Day by day I am reminded that this world is temporary and that the loved ones we so desperately hold on to will someday depart from us. And we can only pray, from the bottom of our hearts, that they will be able to live eternally in the kingdom of heaven.



Friday, February 10, 2012

Returning Home : Sentimientos Agridulces

After horseback riding with Cumanda, Marcela, y Sarah
Nikki & I at Cotapaxi Volcano.
I honestly cannot believe that almost two months have passed since I left Ecuador. I feel like there is a piece of my heart missing. I miss my host family and Ana Lucia's family so greatly, and I wish I could express this to them, but it is so hard for me. Not only because of the language barrier, though that does play a role, but more so because I don't want to face that fact that I miss them so much. When I spoke with all of them on the phone, it was so difficult for me to even say, “I miss you.” Somehow my pride wouldn't allow it, wouldn't allow me to admit that I could feel hurt or feel pain from being away from them. I like to consider myself “emotionally detached,” for my ability to completely immerse myself in life there, then return home and give all my energy and focus to my life here, as if Ecuador never happened.

After a long week of traveling with Lee, Jules, and Jes.
My last day with Ana Lucia, Ariel, y Sarah
The only proof I have is the pictures. And the people. Calling a few friends I met in Ecuador this past week was a good reminder that I was actually there. But it's definitely painful, as I spent almost a year anticipating my semester abroad, four months away from home, and suddenly, it's all over, a flash before my eyes, and I don't even know what happened.



Wait what? Sonia has a blog?


Mis Hermanos : Marcela (18), Jimmy (14), Cumanda (5)







Ever since I left for Ecuador last August, the idea of starting a blog has been floating in my mind.


Hugo's Birthday






 



Night before I left, Ariel & Hector
It has been fear that has kept me from doing it, the discomfort of knowing that once something is posted online, it is there forever.







At the same time, I thought it would be worthwhile to share my story, most especially with loved ones, because sometimes I feel like I am better at expressing my thoughts in writing rather than verbally.

At the airport (my host mom Senora Marta, me in the shirt Marcela made that reads, "My Ecuatorian Family" &  my sister Marcela)
From left to right - Hugo, Daysi (18), Ana Lucia, Hector (13), y Ariel (5)
So to you, dear reader, whoever you are, I hope you enjoy this. I am not sure if I have anything particularly interesting to share, but for some reason today just felt like the day to finally create a blog. I do hope that my thoughts and entries can be of help to someone in some way, though I am not sure how. I don't really know what route this blog will take but I suppose I just have to wait and see how things go.